mum!

sense of being secured

Is it human nature to hold others responsible for all failures? Probably, previously when my cell used to ring I used to be happy; now, like me it has also become quiet. I am in love with this deafening quietness of myself. I have grown habituated with it. There is a continuous growth of these comfortable silences. Call it spaces, call it escapism, but it is me. Quiet, very quiet. I talk a lot nonsense with other mortal beings around me, the more I speak, the more the walls grow profound. It might even be that I am in a state of vacillation, trying to decipher whether the words should be out in open. Words hurt, yes they do. They do the most when they are truth. And yes, I have hurt ma with words. Still when I think of the words that were spoken, I sigh. I can sense the fingers turning cold. It is easy for a mother to forgive her child, but is it that easy to forgive yourself when you realize the damage. You don’t need big fights or a scene to spoil a relation, just a small gesture can put a death nail to it. As she says, relations are the most delicate things here. Be it with your mother or yourself. It needs to be taken care, once you fail and it's all gone. Ma I don’t know how to mend it, you are matured I know, but still I am scared.
Here I grow silent again!